Every Friday I am going to feature a woman that I adore. They exude all the qualities of an Alpha Female and I want to dig into their lives to get some nuggets of knowledge to help us all live happier, healthier lives balancing life & work.
Definition of an Alpha Female
An Alpha Female is a powerful and assertive woman. Her confidence is due to being an intelligent and intellectual problem-solver. Being an Alpha Female is a State of Mind based on choosing ambition and being proud of it. She strives for a happy and healthy work/life harmony.
She is the brightest star in her constellation. When an Alpha Female stays true to their authentic selves and their missions they shine. An Alpha Female puts herself first because she deserves self-care and love. She knows that work/life harmony is found by staying true to your priorities and what makes you happy. She is never complacent about striving for better and nurtures relationships with all the people in her life.
Meet Ashley Srokosz!
Ashley Srokosz is a Registered Holistic Nutritionist, essential oil educator, and Holistic Business Coach who is also a mom to an energetic 4-year-old. She shares super transparent lessons from business and everyday life that helps busy women achieve more of their mission with less struggle – because being a mom and an entrepreneur doesn’t have to be so hard!
Website, Instagram and Facebook
What do you think of the definition and how are you an Alpha Female?
I think that your definition of an Alpha Female is right on, and I’m a walking example of that definition! However, the self-care part? I’m just starting to lean into that in a major way. I’ve never been good at self-care, and I realize now that even though I never felt that I had a confidence problem, that I never really truly loved my whole self.
I never considered myself having a self-confidence issue until I started network marketing. Even after running my own seemingly successful business for 6 years prior to starting my team, all of a sudden I started questioning everything that I was doing. Was I a good leader? A good mentor? Should I do it like that person over there? What’s everyone else doing? For a good 2 years, I pretty much lost my confidence. In the last 6 months, I’ve started gaining that back, and it feels wonderful again to be sure of myself, my mission, my beliefs, and what I stand for in the world. This alpha female is BACK!
What does work/life harmony look like for you?
I’m a workaholic, and I’m HAPPY to be a workaholic, so my work/life balance tends to go heavier on the work side. However, I’m learning how to lean into relaxing and living a life outside of my business, and it feels great to finally be doing that. I’m very strict about my schedule, and our son was in 4-day a week daycare before starting Kindergarten because I just couldn’t focus on work with him around. I know myself, and I needed dedicated time to focus on my business, and I’m a happier woman, mom, and wife because I get that time.
There have been seasons in my business of major hustle (2, 4-month travel program stints had me working a LOT of nights), but right now it’s not such a crazy busy season and I’m letting my leaders step up into their own teams. This has allowed me more nights with my family at home. I love cooking and baking, and having dinner around the table together at least 4 nights a week is non-negotiable with me. On weekends I love not having a schedule to follow (we usually don’t get rolling on Saturdays until after noon!), and I’m craving football coming back in the fall as an excuse to stay home and do nothing on Sundays so that my husband can watch all the games that he wants, which reminds me of growing up when my parents watched NFL footballs on Sunday. We’d get all cozy, there’d be a stew or chili in the crockpot simmering all day, and it was our dedicated relaxation time. I don’t even necessarily need to watch the games, I just love the feeling of Sundays spent that way. Then I’m ready for a busy week after having that recharge time!
Share with us a time when work/life balance was out of whack?
My entire life I’ve gone through cycles of extreme hustle at the expense of my bodily health, and then I get a major cold or flu and crash and burn for 2 weeks. During that 2 weeks, I tell myself I’m not going to push myself so hard, I’ll rest more because I don’t want this type of sickness to last again … and then it repeats itself every 2 to 3 or 4 months. This literally started in high school, all the way through University, and then into adulthood and my business.
Thankfully, in the last 6 months, I’ve taken a step back and realized that I’ve created such momentum in my business that I CAN start taking care of myself properly. I’m working through money blocks, mindset issues, and beliefs inherited from my Mom that I can’t have a successful business and life without working really hard and burning myself out, and I can already feel those old stories falling away.
What are you most passionate about?
This is a hard question because I have to distill many things that I’m passionate about down to one concept. I’m passionate about showing women that there’s a life of more out there for you. More love, more freedom, more abundance, more health, and more happiness and joy than they ever thought possible. But they have to focus on what really matters.
Making sure the kitchen is 100% spotless? It’ll make you feel good, but when we reach the end of our lives, we’re not going to say “having the kitchen clean every night really made my life worth it”. No, never.
The everyday humdrum is getting in the way of us really connecting with what matters to us, and each woman will have her own definition of what that feeling of “more” is. Is it more time to bake? Travel? Do yoga? Sit in silence? Read books? We’re never going to have that time for those things that make us feel it’s all worth it if we focus on the small, everyday stuff that matter but doesn’t really matter. Those seemingly tiny amounts of time between real-world stuff that does actually need to be done (laundry, making sure your house isn’t a pigsty, getting your kids to school on time) where you can work on a freedom project or do some serious self-care? Those moments don’t just show up, they have to be scheduled and that time has to be used to the fullest. That’s what I’m passionate about: inspiring women to make that time and make it work for them to achieve their own life of more.
How do you nourish yourself?
Three things I could never do without to make sure that I’m on my game:
1. Eating healthy
2. Quiet time
If I don’t get these things, I’m a hot mess!
What is your weekly fitness routine like?
I used to be incredibly active in high school and university. I played several high-level sports, and have played in International Championships and won Provincial medals. And then my body fell apart at the end of university and I wasn’t active for at least 10 years.
Recently, I’ve felt the pull to start working out again, but in my own way. I can’t push my body like I used to with hardcore sports, and it’s been really fun realizing that I can challenge myself and my body in a great way with low-impact exercises like Barre that are SUPER hard and make me sweat.
I’m not much of a “go to the gym” type girl, so in the last 2 months, I’ve started doing Miracle Mornings. At least 3 days a week I’ve stuck to putting a YouTube video on for 20 to 30 minutes and following a workout routine … and it’s working! I can feel myself getting stronger, some areas are getting more toned (no more love handles!), I have more energy, and my confidence is through the roof. I should have started doing this years ago!
What are your daily habits for winding down at night and reducing stress?
I’ve started putting my phone away at 8:30 pm, and any other personal electronics like my iPad or laptops. I’ve realized that it takes my body a full hour to start to feel tired after I put the screens away, so unless I’m doing some night coaching for some of my team that lives on the West Coast, the screens are put away. That being said, I still watch some Netflix with my husband (the TV doesn’t affect me the same way as my personal devices).
I wash my face, floss, and brush my teeth (and always apply at least 4-5 different essential oils to my skincare routine), turn on my bedroom diffuser with essential oils that will help us sleep deeper, and even though it annoys my husband to no end, I have to read for about 20 or 30 minutes in bed. I have to read, it’s the only way to turn my brain off, I’ve been doing it since I was a kid. BUT, I can only read light, entertaining books that I’ve already read. If I read new books, I get way too into them and stay up for hours. I have copies of books that I’ve literally read 20 times that I rotate through, and every now and then I throw a new book into the mix.
My favorites include the Bridget Jones’ Diary series, and it took me at least a year to get through the Outlander series … I’ve read the entire series twice and am currently on the third time around! Believe me, you won’t regret getting into these massive novels, there are so many twists and turns. Plus, you’ll want to go to Scotland to see hot men in kilts. You’re welcome.
What are some pain points of being an Alpha Female that you have to problem solve for?
I’m a total Type-A control freak who is a perfectionist (I prefer to call it attention to detail ;), and that’s really hard for my husband and son. I have to check myself on a daily basis because I push them and myself to the highest standards possible, usually at the cost of our family sanity.
I’ve really had to take a look at my language with my boys and, most importantly, with myself. I’ve done, and am still doing, some deep work on long-held beliefs passed down from both sides of my family around time, money, and self-worth. This will be a life-long process of becoming more aware of the automatic thoughts that come up in my head around how our home should look, how clean it is, how we look (i.e. do we really need to look perfect all day, every day? Answer: definitely not!), and how much I stress about our schedule and time.
I’m learning to not automatically lash out at my husband and son for things like not loading the dishwasher properly or picking up after themselves, and look forward to the day when I can laugh at my early 30-year-old self and how I used to stress about stupid things that really don’t matter.
What is your definition of happiness?
My definition of happiness is not having to listen to or follow anyone else’s rules but my own. I’ve always been like this, wanted to go my own way and not having to follow people for the sake of following them. This is why I’m an entrepreneur because I’ve only had 1 boss in my life who I’ve truly respected. That sounds like a horrible thing to say, but I’m self-admittedly a horrible employee.
I want to be able to live my life by my own standards and no one else’s. I want free time to just be, and to have open space in my schedule for impromptu cookie making sessions and heart-to-hearts with my husband and son.
I basically want freedom in every aspect of my life, and I’m working every day to define and refine what that freedom looks like.